Miscommunication Fiasco

Tuesday, October 8, 2019: A ridiculously unnecessarily stressful evening because of miscommunication and lack of planning. I learned that planning is not a strength among many in our group. But I also discovered that I need to speak up more when I sense incongruities in communication. Because apparently everyone else is oblivious to them (or they are so focused on their jobs to think about this). Anyway, I’m getting ahead of myself. Here’s the situation that unfolded on Tuesday night.

Every other Tuesday evening, the intern community has an “Intern Dinner” with the staff; we share a meal together and hang out (which we do on a regular basis anyway). Tuesday night was supposed to be such an evening, but Judy Douglass, the wife of Cru’s President Steve Douglass, was hosting a Women’s Welcome Dessert at her home for all the new women at Cru Headquarters (here in Orlando). The event was scheduled from 7-9pm. As a result, there was no Intern Dinner, and all the intern girls were required to attend the Welcome Dessert.

This is Us

Here's the catch: the supervisors never told us that we weren’t having Intern Dinner specifically. A week ago, we were told: “next Tuesday's Intern Dinner will be at Tony John's house. More details are to come…”  (written Monday, September 30, 2019). 

The day before the Intern Dinner, the supervisors informed us that: 

“Woman: All the woman will be taking part in the annual Welcome to Lake Hart Dessert that is hosted by Judy Douglass. It is from 7:00 PM to 9:00 PM...” (written Monday, October 7, 2019). No mention of whatever happened to Intern Dinner. Personally, I didn’t realize we were having Dessert and no Dinner until I spoke with the supervisor later Monday afternoon.

This meant I did not have ingredients to make dinner for Tuesday (because I plan these things out), so I messaged the intern girls group Monday at 9:28PM:

“Hi friends, do y’all want to get dinner after work together before dessert with Judy Douglass? We can also all carpool (to her house, to work, to dinner, or all of the above). Like if you’re down for dinner”

The message received 3 likes (out of 9) before I went to bed. So I figured that dinner (much less carpooling) wasn’t happening...?

Tuesday 8:02am 

“I’m interested in car pooling if others are.” I message this girl, and she’s not ready to leave when I normally leave (8:15am). That’s fine. My roommate and I carpool to work as usual.

2:31pm 

“where are we thinking for dinner?” A girl who did not like my dinner message asks the group. We love assumptions.

2:32pm 

“They live near Curry Ford/Alafaya so maybe somewhere near there?” This intersection is 3.5 miles/10 minutes away from the Douglass’ home.

The girl who asked about dinner throws out two options: Goodfella’s Pizzeria and Bahama Breeze. I was not thrilled about either, but I voted for Bahama Breeze. There were now 3 likes for each dinner option. I put the places in Google Maps. Both locations are about 20 minutes away from the Douglass’, which isn’t terrible, but there are definitely closer options. I find an interesting Puerto Rican restaurant much closer, but since it doesn’t have vegetarian options (one girl is vegetarian), I don’t say anything. Also, I need to get work done.

4:06pm 

“so do we all want to carpool to dinner and then Judy’s?” girl #3 asks. Short, clear communication occurs at this time about transportation. We come to the consensus that we will drive all our cars to Publix (a local supermarket), carpool to dinner and dessert, then pick up our cars on the way home.

4:50pm (keep in mind we get off of work at 5pm) 

“ok so what is the actual plan? we’re all driving to pizza then going to publix to compile cars, then we go to judys?” Excuse me. When did we agree to get pizza? But this girl redeems herself. A minute later, she writes, “or maybe not pizza idk *dinner” Thanks, Sarah. Spoiler alert: we went to the pizzeria for dinner.

There is affirmation of the plan and addresses of Publix and the pizzeria are put into the group.

4:56pm 

“Can we everyone who’s meeting at Publix to carpool like this message? Don’t wanna leave anyone behind!” This was my favourite message of the entire experience. It ended up receiving only 5 likes, even though 8 of us were going to Publix. 2 other girls were meeting us at the Pizzeria. But funny thing, no one really referred to this message when figuring out who was going to meet at Publix before heading to dinner. BIG mistake. 

The next things that happen are a little messy. No, a lot messy. Five of us get to Publix around 5:15pm and hop into one car (I was part of this group). We start driving to dinner, which is about 30 minutes away. It crosses my mind to inform the group that we already headed out, but I don’t (because secret: my phone doesn’t have data oops).

5:23pm 

“What time are you guys meeting there?” Where is “there”? Publix? The Pizzeria? This girl was meeting us at the restaurant, so in her mind, she meant the pizzeria. But not in everyone's mind. 

5:23pm 

“5:45!” She was in our car, and meant 5:45 at the restaurant. But that’s not clear from the context.

5:38pm 

“H, S, and I are chilling in my car at the end of the parking lot.” Panic sets in when I hear this message read in our car. I knew that their car left the office later than us, so there was no way they were already at the parking lot for dinner. Logic tells us that they were still at Publix, thinking that “5:45!” meant meet at Publix, not the pizzeria.

So the “5:45!” girl writes: “[name of 5 of us] are already on our way

To the restaurant – I’m so sorry for the lack of communication.

We should have let you know that we arrived at Publix and left for dinner.” Amen. So the car of 3 leaves Publix around now, as we arrive at the pizzeria. 

At this point, I should clarify that, although I am commenting on everyone’s messages and did not post anything in the group, this doesn’t mean that I did not contribute to the miscommunication. From this experience, I learned that silence speaks volumes, and sometimes is the easiest to be misunderstood. There are several times during this experience I wished I had spoken up, but I didn’t want to contribute to the messiness by adding another voice. Moral of the story: Speak up when I sense murky communication!

But anyway. We arrive at Goodfella’s Pizzeria around 5:50pm, a little anxious and tense about the misunderstanding. The two other girls join us, so a total of 7. We tell the waiter that we’re a party of 10, get seated, and make lively small talk as we wait for the other three girls to arrive. But because they left so late, we order food.

6:15pm 

The girls in the late car arrive, clearly frustrated and stressed. They’re not sure if they should even order food, because the restaurant is about 20 minutes away from Judy’s house (apparently no one had bothered to check/I didn't inform the group). This leaves about 20 minutes to order, eat, and pay, which is not enough time at all for an Italian sit-down restaurant. But they end up ordering anyway and there’s a lot emotions around the table.

6:30pm 

The food starts arriving. We tell the waiter if we could ring up our orders, but because all the checks are split, it takes awhile. Our waiter, Quinten, was very good-natured and understanding about our situation and plays along. We ask for to-go boxes. One girl is very angsty and doesn’t want to be late for Dessert. One girl is having a panic attack. One girl had a bad day at work and is so agitated from the entire situation she’s shaking. We all sit in silence, unable to enjoy the delicious food before us.

My Yummy Cheeseless Pizza

6:55pm

The last personal pizza arrives, all the checks are rung up, and we take our food and head out.

We arrive at Judy Douglass’ home around 7:20pm, and she’s still standing by the door greeting the stragglers. We get dessert, sit at tables with other, older women (who are also new at Cru Headquarters), and make small talk. Judy shares some stories about her prodigal (foster) son, and the lessons God taught her and her family in the midst of the hardship and fog. We finish the night sharing the hopes and dreams that we have for the coming year and pray for each other.

The Tabletop Decór

At the end of the night, we say goodbye and head home. On the way, we almost forget to stop at Publix to pick up my car. Although it was only 9:30pm, I was exhausted, and I think everyone was as well. Moral of the story: emotions are draining.

If you made it all the way down here, thanks for reading about our crazy Tuesday evening. I pray that your day involves much less miscommunication and misunderstanding!