Bringing & Receiving Gifts

Wow I haven’t blogged in awhile. Quite a bit has happened this week, but I was a little under the weather and constantly exhausted.

This Sunday, I played keyboard for three worship services at Nona Church! I am so thankful for this opportunity to serve and use my gift in this way. This was definitely my favourite Orlando Sunday, and I feel more alive I have been since moving to Orlando.

“If creation sings Your praises so will I.”

Because Nona Church meets at the YMCA, the worship team does not have space to rehearse during the week. So we came at 7am to run through the worship songs (Yeah, I was a little surprised that they didn’t play together more…). I’ll tell you a little secret about how the worship team stays together.

We wear ear monitors, mainly to hear each other clearly but also to have a metronome in our ear. There is also a track with synth pads and voice that us which part of the song we’re playing next (it says “intro, verse 1, chorus,…” etc. and “build-up.” So like a conductor for an orchestra, but in your ear). It was not what I expected, but it makes sense, given the constraints of the church. Another difference between playing an actual piano and this morning is that I don’t control the volume of what I’m playing. AND what I’m hearing in my ear monitors is not what other people are hearing. Wild, huh? But it was so, so amazing to be part of the worship team and have the opportunity to bring my gifts to the table.

I had another unique opportunity to serve this week during the International Day of Prayer. On October 1, all the Cru staff took the day off to pray together. The theme of this year’s Day of Prayer was “Selah: Day of Global Pause.” In between sets of worship and speakers, the room was silent as nearly a thousand believers paused and prayed. I got to work as a cameraman, where the video was live-streamed on cru.org for Cru staff all over the nation to participate virtually. I love being able to jump in and serve with the skills that I’ve had the opportunity to develop over the years.

World Wide day of Prayer

In the afternoon of Day of Prayer, we split up into small groups to pray. Four HQ intern girls and I sat around the table and talked openly about our feelings about the past two months in Orlando. It was a really special time for us to connect, communicate, and understand where we all were in the transition process. Many of us felt worn from the newness of all our relationships and the effort we were putting into intentionally building deeper relationships. In addition to some hard things we were experiencing as a community, everyone was (and is) exhausted. We all desperately want to be there for one another, but our emotional capacities have maxed out. There was nothing in our buckets to give, and I felt understood and relieved to know that I wasn’t the only one. One of the interns said that this sharing helped her give grace to herself and extend grace to others, knowing that we were all in the same boat.

At the end of the sharing and prayer, I felt more full. Instead of looking at my tank as nearly empty, I started to see my tank as sufficient. My perspective shifted from seeking to be fulfilled to seeking to fulfill the needs around me. It was a liberating moment, and I am constantly reminded of the abundance that the Father has given me that He calls me to pour out to others. But at the same time, my worth is not derived from how much I am a blessing to others, or how much I do for the people around me. Sometimes I just need to humbly receive His blessings.

One of His beautiful gifts to me this week was having a friend from home visit <3 Hannah Lin came to Orlando for the Grace Hopper Conference, but we got to spend Wednesday evening together at Disney Springs. It was so refreshing to have a familiar face here. She also reminded me that I don’t deserve so much of the love that I receive. And it was a timely reminder that there is a much bigger world outside of Cru.

Hannah and I

But for now, I’m trying just to get out of the Cru Headquarters Intern bubble. I met up with two ladies who are not Cru HQ Interns (they still work with Cru), and it was fun to talk and get to know them. But new relationships take energy, and I realized that it’s making friends is not really the most life-giving activity for me. But pickup Ultimate Frisbee also helped me meet more new people. It's also so much easier connecting with others through sports, and this is another reason why this Sunday has been my favorite :) 

Do you see the disc?

But anyway. Here are some apple roses for your enjoyment (they look better than they taste). Happy Monday!