Effective Communication

I wanted to write a hurricane reflection, but it felt like I was more busy during the hurricane than at work. Thank God, Hurricane Dorian spared much of Florida. But please pray for the Bahamas, where Dorian basically destroyed much of the islands. Here's a picture of the little bit of Dorian we experience.

A Much Calmer Dorian

Last week, I learned about Awareness Wheel. Ryan pitched it as a skill that travels to all areas of life, to all the relationships you’ll have (professional, friendships, marriage, etc.). I think he learned how to communicate with the awareness wheel from marriage counseling, and it is so special that I get to learn about it and practice it this coming year! Anyway, the Awareness Wheel has five petals: 1. Sensory data, 2) Thoughts, 3) Emotions, 4) Wants for (Self, Others, and Us), and 5) Actions (Past, Current, and Future). It’s always difficult to describe something visual with words, so here’s what it looks like:

The Wheel

I think the Awareness Wheel conversations always have to be prefaced; they’re usually serious? But it only works when both parties are aware that the Awareness Wheel is being used. The petals are used in order, but before you begin...

Step 0: Pray! This is probably the most important and most forgotten step in doing most things, at least for me. Pray for the Spirit to guide the conversation, and that each person can be patient and courageous in the communication process.

Step 1: The person who initiated the conversation (Person A) uses the first three petals of the wheel: sensory data, thoughts, and emotions. No interruptions from the listener (Person B). Talk about what you observed, your interpretations of those actions, and how it made you feel. It looks like a linear process from data -> thoughts -> emotions, but in reality, thoughts may trigger more sensory data, which may trigger emotions, which will elicit more thoughts… All this to say that our observations, thoughts, and emotions are not linear! Here’s a chart that helps identify different emotions we feel:

All the Emotions

When Person A finishes, Person B does NOT immediately respond to everything s/he has heard. The first response should be a question: “What else? Is there anything else you want to share?” This should continue until Person A responds with saying that s/he has nothing else to share.

Step 2: Person B summarizes back to Person A what s/he heard Person A say, and keeps trying until Person A is satisfied with the summary. This ensures that Person B understands what Person A tried to express and the two people have mutual understanding.

Step 3: Roles are reversed with steps 1 and 2: Person B talks while Person A listens attentively.

Step 4: When both people have shared to their hearts’ content, we move to the fourth petal: Wants for self, others, and us. NOTE: just because we express our wants doesn’t mean that they should happen. Mad snaps to that. But it helps to know the other person’s expectations, realistic or not.

Step 5: Talk about Actions: Past, Current, and Future. How do we move forward in the relationship with the new awareness we have gained from this conversation? Ryan reminded us that future actions should not just be a lack of conflict, but harmony. It’s like the Hebrew “shalom": our goal is not an absence of bad things like struggle and disagreement, but a presence of wholeness, prosperity, and harmony. I think it was at this point that Ryan mentioned Classical music, because everything fits together so beautifully, just like the way things are intended to be. I pray that my relationships will be just beautiful <3 And ugh I miss making music. 

Other Fun Things

Thanks to Hurricane Dorian, we got Tuesday and Wednesday off of work. It’s only the second week and we had a five-day weekend and two-day work week. I know, it was pretty backwards. Over break, we went to Disney twice! And we played lots of games, made food together, and watched some movies. Here are some highlights of our hurrication:

 Ticket to Ride 

Epcot Food & Wine Festival

I Baked! Bread Pudding

Also, one of the interns, Laura, got engaged over the weekend when she went home! We threw a surprise party when she got back yesterday after work, and she shared all the pictures of the engagement process. So cute 😍

Laura Got Engaged!

Laura also started this painting and was going to give it to her now fiancé as an anniversary gift in March (yes, six months ago). So far, I have spent 4.5 hrs working on it. Hopefully it will be finished soon!  

What a Commitment