Race

No, not the rat race. Or a competition. It’s not the verb. It’s the last set of definitions on Merriam Webster’s dictionary. It’s probably more often used as words like racism or racist, and it’s been the theme of this week.

Before I came to Orlando, I almost never thought about race. Sure, my family is Taiwanese, which is not the same as being Chinese, but that’s not race. It’s just cultural differences, which is already a lot to navigate.

Here in Orlando, I’m confronted with race head on. There are not a lot of Asian Americans, and Cru talks about Oneness and Diversity a lot. Every conversation I have had with a person of minority ends up being about ethnicity and culture. My roommate, Keren, is a project manager for R&D in multiethnic ministries. She’s Mexican American and I’m Asian American, and we’re two of three non-white female interns in our cohort. The statistics work out similar to Cru’s staff demographics: only about 20% of Cru staff is minority.

Obviously minority doesn’t exclusively relate to racial minority. Minorities can exist in categories such as gender and age, as well as religion. But the minority that is most obviously present every day in life is what you see: our hair and skin color.

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On Tuesday, the interns had dinner at the Smith’s, the couple serving as directors of Oneness and Diversity at Cru. The African-American couple grew up in Tennessee and openly spoke about the challenges and struggles they experienced as minority serving in a majority culture organization. (If you don’t know, Cru was established in 1951 by Bill Bright, a Caucasian male.) Systemic things in Cru exist that keep minorities from joining staff. For example the support-raising process is a big hurdle that weeds out many minorities who struggle with debt or come from communities that cannot support them financially. There was a lot to think about and chew on. 

At the end of the night, one of the interns asked what she, as part of the majority culture, can do to engage. The Smiths answered awareness and advocacy: revealing the problem and giving voices to those who may be marginalized or excluded. 

That’s a great answer. But Keren and I had a heated discussion as we drove back to our apartment. Don’t worry, we were not arguing with one another. We were voicing our frustration at the question. Sure, white people can research and learn more about mass incarceration, read books about cultural differences, but if that doesn’t change the way you treat people who look different, what does that do? We felt like a lot of the conversations that we’ve had with fellow interns have been about culture. They ask broad sweeping questions about the difference between Hispanics and Latinos, or Chinese customs and societal norms (like I would know). But in their attempt to learn, I feel used. I feel like a means to an end, like a tutor educating people about my heritage. But do you even know me? Do you know what makes me laugh? What I care about? It's great that you’re trying to understand the background in which I grew up in, but what’s the point if you’re not using that knowledge to understand and love me as a person?

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During lunch on Thursday, I went to a beta-testing session for Culture Cards that Keren's team is working on. They are called “I am From” cards, designed to facilitate cultural conversations in five categories: ancestry, growing up, family expectations, cultural experiences, and cultural values. They were really cool and made me reflect on my upbringing in ways I've never done before. One aspect about cultural experiences made me really think. Was I supposed to talk about American culture, Asian culture, or Asian American culture? These are concepts that I’ve never thought of before and am currently wrestling with.

Also how does the place we are raised inform our values? America is full of narratives of freedom, success through hard work, individualism, the “American dream.” But rooted in her birth is also deep-seeded racism, segregation, and self-sufficiency. Yes, we learn about these in history classes, but we hear the narratives of the privileged and powerful, and that is the story that the majority white culture wants to tell. Nevertheless, the unspoken prejudices rear its ugly head, even in the American church. Edgar was right; segregation in American churches points to our nation’s dark, unconfronted past. He recognized racism in America before I was ever aware of it.

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But I know it’s a privilege for me to wrestle with the concepts of diversity, culture, and unity. I have the opportunity to ask myself questions I never had to answer in California. What does it mean to be an Asian American in a predominantly majority culture organization that’s bringing the gospel to people all over the world? How does the unique ways God created me allow me to be an effective ambassador for His kingdom? These are questions I do not yet have answers to.

On a related note, Song and I got to share and celebrate our culture with the other interns yesterday! It was the Mid-Autumn Festival, and we cooked dinner for 20 people and bought $45 worth of moon cakes to share. Song put together a presentation about the story behind the Mid-Autumn Festival, and we all went out to look at the moon and eat moon cakes together. Here are some pictures:

Some of the Food

Norm #5: We Eat Together

Streetlight Too Bright

Thanks for bearing with me as I try to navigate issues that others have dealt with all their lives. Feedback and stories are welcome! :) Have a blessed weekend.