This summer, I have been support-raising for my second year with Cru. Because of God's grace and provision, it is going quite well. As a result, I am sometimes very bored. I discuss this "problem" with people, and they suggest: “Is there anything you want to learn? A new language? New skills?”
To be very honest, I am tired of learning. It's exhausting. When I learn something new and there's no foreseeable use of the skill, I wonder what the purpose of learning is, if it's not enjoyable. Obviously there are lots of things we learn that have no purpose or enjoyment, and God uses those developed skills far into the future (or simply to shape our character), but I am very tired.
It’s almost ironic that my top StrengthFinder strength is Learner. It means I enjoy it (which I definitely do to some extent) and am good at learning. That is definitely a blessing.
But I am still learning every day. I read about the news, and I am constantly watching cooking videos to improve my cooking skills. I am listening to podcasts that talk about racial injustices and the Bible (they’re two separate podcasts). I picked up the guitar and was practicing until I sliced my finger a couple months ago. It’s still a little tender when I press on the strings, but I'm slowly getting back into it. I also have a summer project! But my summer project isn’t something; it’s someone. (Disclaimer: my summer project isn't exactly a person. I'm teaching skills to someone and that's more of my project. But I'm definitely investing a lot of time into a person, not a subject or skill, and thus the metaphor. I'm not trying to objectify a person.)
I live with Kelly, and her boyfriend Matt is taking College Algebra this summer. He’s in the beginning of his college career, and was (is now less, but still is) struggling in his classes. Learning math is hard. On top of that, add the intensity of a summer semester, and on top of that, online learning. It’s the worst combination ever.
Matt’s educational background doesn’t help either. He was homeschooled, but not the way I was homeschooled. Simply put, organization, discipline, and academic rigor are completely foreign to him.
When I was first asked to help Matt, I thought he was just like any other college student I tutored back at Santa Clara University. I thought all he needed was in-person explanations of new mathematical concepts, some encouragement, and a little accountability to stay focused on math homework. Or so I thought.
The first session (back on June 19) went fairly smoothly. Our work was broken up into two sessions because I had online meetings in the middle of the afternoon. While Matt was slightly distracted, stressed, and often hit a wall because of his frustration, I had experience with all of his self-sabotaging behaviors with other students at SCU. They were easy enough to deal with and fix. I thought the ADHD behavior was somewhat annoying, but I attributed it to working in the living room where his housemates were moving about and hanging out.
The next few sessions made me progressively more frustrated. Matt was (is much less now) chronically distracted, and was multi-tasking during our sessions. I was annoyed at his lack of focus and pointed it out to him. This was the first signs to me that Matt needed more “help” than math tutoring. No one had ever taught him that learning required focus and concentration. I soon learned that he never had the opportunity to learn a lot of the fundamental skills of being a good student.
I talked to Kelly about Matt’s study habits, and I discovered that the problem was much deeper. While I was helping Matt finish his homework on time, he was missing deadlines for quizzes, exams, and worksheets (part of participation for watching online lessons). I thought I was just there to help him learn new concepts, but this conversation revealed that Matt lacked fundamental study skills to succeed in college. No one taught him that he needed to submit his work on time. No one showed him how to use a calendar or planner. No one told him school is a full-time job.
But anyway. Yesterday morning, I went over to his house, and I started by asking him how he felt about the end of the semester. He admitted that he was stressed, and that he’s not doing so hot in the class. He got a 60% on the last exam not because he failed, but because he forgot he even had a midterm until the day after it was due. [insert facepalm emoji: 🤦🏻♀️]
As much as I want to help him get an A in the class, there's not much time left. His final is on July 27, just three weeks from now.
He recently got a planner, which hopefully will help with organization and planning (which Kelly’s best friend helped him write out over the weekend).
Working with Matt made me realize how much I have fine-tuned the process of learning. It’s kind of crazy the amount of time I’ve spent doing this, and also all the random facts I know about studying, productivity, and effective learning. Here are a few things I am now aware that I do:
- Taking breaks to maximize the amount of time the brain can naturally focus
- Eating healthy snacks, drinking water. Fueling the brain with necessary nutrients
- Minimizing distractions: turning off notifications. Using the “out of sight, out of mind” to focus on the task at hand
- Small rewards to keep me motivated and keep going
- Recognizing environmental cues that enhance or deter from studying. Lighting, sound, other people. I have learned that this is different for different people.
- Having a growth mindset: recognizing obstacles and figuring out how to overcome them (but first, knowing that obstacles can be overcome, which is a very important recognition)
- Organizing a mass amount of material (that actually isn’t that much)
- Making a plan to accomplish assignments/study
- Having the discipline to follow through on said plan
Obviously I didn't develop all of these skills out of nowhere, by myself. I am very blessed to have parents and teachers who knew the value of education, led by example, and pushed me to excel in these areas.
I will not calculate how much it cost me to help Matt, but if Matt were to pay someone out there to give him the help that he needs, I’d estimate that it would be about $1500. And that’s a very conservative estimate. Unfortunately, this is not something he can afford. But it goes to show how valuable education is. While you are not paid to learn (quite the opposite, you pay to learn), the skills one obtains are priceless.
This is why I want to go into education, but that will be a conversation for another day. In the meantime, I will continue to work on my summer project.
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