Mid-February Shenanigans

Hi Everyone! I apologize for being silent for awhile. Life is going full steam ahead here in Orlando, and lots of things are happening! Here are some cool things I got to do after Preview Weekend.

The day after Preview Weekend, some of the interns and I went to see the Broadway Show Aladdin. We got to see the original Genie actor, Michael J Scott, and he was so, so good. It was an exciting way to end a full weekend.

 Broadway Aladdin

After a comp day on Monday, the interns had our community dinner at a local campground. We didn’t camp, but had a barbeque and campfire, around which we shared the highs and lows we experienced at Preview Weekend.

Sharing Stories

Our apartment also hosted Galentine’s on Friday. Jennifer made dinner, Keren decorated our apartment, and I made dessert. We had a great time. Here are some pictures:

Apartment Transformed 

The Gals 

 Yes I Copied People Online

More Desserts

The next day, I woke up before 6AM to go to Hollywoods Studios to try to ride the new Star Wars ride, Rise of the Resistance. Because the ride is so popular, people have to get into an online queue before they can physically get in line. To get in the online queue, you have to be at Disney, select your group of friends in the app, and click “Join Boarding Group.” All of this must be done the moment the park opens that day, because everyone in the park is trying to do the exact same thing! So you need a fast phone and extremely good service (and fast fingers too, I guess). Thankfully, we got boarding group 46 out of 56, so we got to ride the ride. I can’t imagine coming to Disney World on vacation, but not get a boarding group for the new ride. Look at all the crazy people who got to the park super early (and yes, I was one of them).

All the Crazy People

Then it was Jennifer’s birthday! She had a full day of celebrations: breakfast with me and Keren in the morning, church, and then tacos and hanging out at a bar in the evening. We even got Jeremiah’s Ice cream at 10pm at night, which is way past her bedtime (it’s 9:30pm normally). Keren and I played pool at the bar, and we had a great time.

Played Pool

It was a packed week! More highlights coming soon :) 

Preview Weekend

WOWOW What a weekend. I can’t believe that I was in the exact same place last year, and this year, I got to host students and walk with them through the same part of the journey. I was reminded how much I enjoy being a mentor and guiding people to take their next best steps.

Preview Weekend

This was my first time helping run a conference-type event, and I admit that I was surprised by the amount of work and effort that went into putting Preview Weekend together. The day before Preview Weekend started, Keren and I went to pick up snacks for the weekend. We went to four different stores, in addition to picking up our rental cars. It took all day, and I was exhausted. I was afraid that I would feel equally drained during the event. But at least everyone had enough food!

So Much Food

1 of 2 Snack Bars

Besides purchasing food, I had the privilege of being the intern guide/parent/chauffeur for five students (honestly, only three of them are students. One is a Cru intern on his campus and another graduated last spring). I love them! They were so fun (and funny) and open to sharing their lives and being vulnerable about what they were going through. I also think my group had the perfect mixture of extraversion and introversion – they were capable of having their own conversation in the car, but also told incredible stories and asked great questions. Instead of feeling exhausted, I felt so alive listening to their stories, learning about their passions, and hearing the ways God has already worked in their lives.

My Cute Group

They were so cute! Look what they drew on our table:

Wow I'm Flattered

The students had a very full weekend! On Thursday, they settled into the hotel, walked through a Cru ministry fair, and toured the Lake Hart Office. We ate dinner at Paul Alexander's home and heard his story of working in Cru before heading back to the hotel. On Friday, there were experiential groups and interview/speed dating appointments, where the students got a little taste of what it's like to work with team leaders and learned more about their departments of interest. Saturday was a day of discernment, where there was a devotional and intern panel. My biggest takeaway was something Holley said: "Follow Jesus one yes at a time."

Intern Panel

I wish I got to spend more time with my students, but we did do fun things together Friday night and Saturday. After dinner on Friday, I drove them to Disney Springs, and we walked around and hung out. We visited the World of Disney store, the Star Wars Trading Post, the Spice and Tea Exchange, and the Coca-Cola store. Oh, and we got a dessert at Sprinkles.

Smiling Before Desserts

During our free time on Saturday, I hung out with them the entire time. We spent a lot of time in the car getting to places, but it was a really cool way for all of us to bond. We went to Foxtail (a coffeeshop with lots of fun space), and then we visited my apartment! They loved hanging out with each other, and we even had a mini improv worship session. The guy playing the guitar writes his own music, and he played one of his songs for us, which was really special. 

Jam Session

We spent our last evening together at Canvas before heading over to Steve and Judy Douglass' home. Steve is the President of Cru, and both of them are great speakers. I remember hearing their stories and being so inspired by their obedience and faithfulness to what God called them to do. I don’t say this very often, but I love my family (they called me mom, so I guess we are a family).

Dinner at Canvas

~

Preview Weekend was also very convicting for me personally. I had the opportunity to share all the ways I had seen God move to bring me to this place of interning, and it blows my mind all that He has done. But as I recounted God’s faithfulness last year, I was convicted of how forgetful I am of His goodness and faithfulness. As I return to a similar place of uncertainty and surrender, I feel ashamed at how much I worry, and how much I idolize self-sufficiency and control. Even after all the hard moments and the love and grace I experienced, I am still the same. Just like the Israelites, I see God move right in my face and run back to the same old ways of doubt and fear.

It’s funny how our van group talked a lot about worship songs and the ones that bring us to tears, because I got wrecked during worship all weekend. On Saturday, I sang lyrics that I couldn’t believe myself.

“Faithful You are

Faithful forever You will be.
Faithful You are

All Your promises are Yes and Amen.”

“I will rest in your promises,

My confidence is your faithfulness”

I stood in the room with tears streaming down my face as I listened to everyone around me sing of His faithfulness. I was very convicted by how much I did not trust God despite the fact that He has done some pretty crazy things to get me to Orlando. I also realized how selfish I was to want to leave and work somewhere else. I was falling back into believing the lie that my worth and value = my performance + the approval of others. But no, my worth doesn’t fluctuate; it was determined when Jesus gave His life for me. 

This continued into Sunday morning. I made the mistake of saying yes to worship team the day after Preview Weekend (getting to church at 6:45am, playing for 3 services), but it was the right decision. I guess I just get really emotional when I’m tired, but somehow the lyrics of all the worship songs hit me in all the right spots.

"We go from glory to glory to glory
We'll never be the same, we'll never be the same
You take us higher and higher and higher
We're forever changed, we're forever changed."

“Glory to Glory” reminded me of the process of sanctification, that we follow God higher and higher, to new levels of surrender that changes our lives forever. It convicted me once again of how much I was dragging my feet and running back down the mountain, back to control, familiarity, and comfort. Part of me just wants my own way, and comfort and security, but reflecting on the past six months, I want to continue to be taken higher and higher, and be changed more and more. I don't want to be the same. So this is my prayer:

"Here is where I lay it down
Every lie and every doubt
This is my surrender.

And I'll make room for You
To do whatever You want to
Do whatever You want to."

“Make Room” was the response song, and tears streamed down my face (again) as I played onstage. I saw another woman weeping in the first row, which made me cry even more. Just as I was touched on Saturday, I was humbled that God would use me to be part of a team that created space where people can meet Him. 

It seems clear what the Lord wants me to do for next year, but I have been so resistant, holding onto my own will and desires instead of making room for what He has for me. I've constantly been looking for places where I can perform more and better, and work somewhere that more people (not just Cru people and other Christians) would nod and say that I'm in the right place. But this weekend, God gently reminds me that my value is not what I do for Him or others, but in Jesus. My mind is still figuring how to make sense of the things the Lord has place on my heart. 

Please pray for courage for me to let go of all the things I love: pride in my own performance and a hunger for others' approval. I want to have single-minded devotion for what the Lord has called me to, and to remember that the Lord is less concerned about what I do for Him but who I am in Him. To follow God one yes at a time.

Thank you! Lots of love. 

Victoria's Visit

I had a visitor the first weekend of February! Victoria had a work trip in Orlando earlier in the week and stuck around for the weekend so we got to hang out.

To be honest, I didn’t really know what to expect. Victoria and I met my freshman year at Santa Clara through a mutual friend, and we bumped into each other here and there. She graduated two years before me, and we were in the same Bible study I went to on and off my final years of college. But anyway.

I picked her up from the airport Friday around noon, and we headed over to Disney Springs. On the drive, we shared about our mutual feelings of not being completely satisfied in our current work positions, and the uncertainty of where the Lord is leading us next. She opened up about how she doesn’t really feel fit in, especially after being around her coworkers for an entire week. She has learned a lot through her job but isn’t passionate about her work. And after committing to the same place for two years, she feels free to transition. Because of the conversation, Disney Springs felt so much closer.

It was interesting to see the shops that Victoria was interested in visiting at Disney Springs: not Star Wars or Marvel, or the giant World of Disney Store, but NBA and soccer. I soon learned that she is really into health and wellness. (I swear she’s shorter than 5 feet, but small and mighty hehe)

Next stop: Cru Headquarters, where she met some of my coworkers and the interns. We went on the Jesus Film tour, and she got to simulate being the voice actor for Mary Magdalene.

In Front of HQ

Voice Actress

On our way home, we stopped to get dinner at Bolay. It’s kind of like Chipotle but healthier, making it one of my favorite fast food/catering in Orlando. Turns out that Victoria also loved it, so we ended up having it again the next day for lunch.

On Saturday, Victoria and I became tourists of Orlando, and I took her to many places I had never been to. We wandered through the Winter Park Farmer’s Market, walked around Lake Eola (downtown Orlando), visited ICON park, and explored the Orlando City Library (it is such a cool space! The library has a big bookstore, audio recording studio, photography studio, and 3D printers, and laser cutters. Everything is free except parking).  

ICON Park

On Sunday, we went to church, ate brunch at First Watch, and did a worship session with the rest of the interns. After making almond flour pancakes for snack/dinner, Victoria and I decided to go on a walk in Split Oak Forest, a wildlife mitigation park just behind our apartment complex. The park was beautiful and golden hour made the trees and land very picturesque. Victoria pitched the idea that we should have a make a video of the interns singing “More Than Conquerors” in the field (you know, like those really hipster worship videos). It would be good marketing material, she said. I believe her.

 Music Video Backdrop

Split Oaks Forest

The sun set around 6PM and it got really dark really fast. We decided to turn around when there was still light, but very soon, we couldn’t see where we were going. I think we made a wrong turn or something, and just like that, we got lost. We walked to the edge of the park, but there was a barbed wire fence between the park and the road, so we used Google Maps to try to get back to the parking lot (it was supposed to take 32 min.). With 24 min left to the trek, we stumbled into deep, wet mud (I guess mud is always wet, but it was very squishy, so very wet). Victoria was wearing white shoes, and we tried to keep going, but given that we couldn’t really see how long the muddy road was, we decided to go back to the fence. I called one of the interns, who came to rescue us. 

It’s difficult to describe the feelings on this excursion. On the one hand, I knew that everything would be fine, and Victoria and I would be safe. After all, we were close to the road, and also only a mile away from the apartment complex. On the other hand, I felt completely out of control. I could only see the few feet in front of me (thanks to the flashlight on my phone), and I didn’t even know we were walking into mud until we were literally sinking in it.

Random sidenote: the stars were beautiful! It was a clear night, and it was dark enough to see all the star. I wanted to just stop and stare at the sky, but we had somewhere to go. It reminded me that God’s creation is so beautiful, if only we took the time to pause and look up.

Traveling with a buddy makes everything so much better. Someone keeps you from getting into your own head, you have a problem-solving partner, and you share in the thrill, fear, and memories of the adventure. I’m so thankful I wasn’t alone in the dark (which is actually my greatest fear).

This weekend showed me how fast friendships can be made, and also renewed my appreciation and love for my community here. I was convicted of the critical attitude I have held of the small challenges and obstacles I face here, but Victoria’s visit reminded me how blessed I am to have such a sweet community in such a short amount of time and have people at work who deeply care about me as a person. I get so caught up in the smallest hiccups and forget the breath-taking journey that the Father has led me on.

Thanks for being on this journey with me. Sharing is one way for me to remember the big picture, and I'm grateful for your company :)